BEATEN!

At the end of my sunday I am walking with a limp with a wound on my hip and my legs are missing skin on my shins and my back sore to the bone. But I have the largest smile on my face despite the injuries done unto my body. WHY? Because I triumphed over an obstacle today. Even though time after time again I kept failing and I was getting frustrated to the point where I was about to tear my own limbs off. I had fallen to the edge of my patience, but for some reason I was still trying to succeed. Maybe it was the fact that if I actually did it then all the pain would be worth it. Honestly As i’m writing this and icing my legs It wasn’t worth it. So Why? Maybe to prove to myself that I could do it. Maybe so I could go home feeling like I accomplished something. Maybe it was just because I wanted to. Maybe it was because I liked to. Maybe I want to test my patience and mental strength. It’s easy to be determined to do something when you are into it. I wish I could be that determined for school. I guess I feel I’m not tested there to the point where I want to perform self amputation out of frustration. I wish I could say I was into  school for my future but I don’t feel that in my heart. (I feel i’m comparing a lot of my blog post to school and how much I hate it) I like pushing myself but it has to feel like while i’m doing it there is no hope for me actually succeeding. But in the end I always do.

-BLACKMETA